The Morning Show
by death by computer addiction
Summary: Seigaku's morning show is completely unwatched until Fuji comes along. However, Fuji has a mission: Talk about whatever he wants, and cause as much chaos as he can. Knowing Fuji, that's alot. Warnings inside! Fear the Fuji...
1. Stereotypes

DBCA- Hello again!!! To all of those who read 12 days of Christmas...This has nothing to do with it!!! Yay!! I was bored, so I decied to let Fuji speak to the people...don't hurt me...Well all the chapters will range from long(not likely) to reeeaalllyyy short(more likely), so don't excpect consistency. Skitz! Warnings!

Skitz- Beware no plot!!At. All. and Shounen-ai plus Fuji...that speaks for itself. Disclaimer!!

Cras- When DBCA tried to buy PoT Ryoma hit her with a tennis ball and said something about not being an Uke Whore...

Enjoy!!

"Hello class this is the student morning show!" said the person in front of the camera. Of course nobody paid much attention to him…"Today we have a new headliner!"

A familiar smiling closed eyed tensai walked on.

"Saa, good morning Seigaku, this is Fuji Syusuke. My segment today is on: Stereotypes." Everyone snapped to attention at his voice. Teachers had to turn to the school broadcast but no one watched it…until now. The power of Fuji

"Now our first stereotype- red heads. Red heads are known to play a mean doubles game and are also quite flexible. They are very adorable ukes unfortunately they have very little stamina…so sad. They are often found clinging to their dark haired semes. If you ever see one approach with caution they are known to latch on to anything cute. Their glomp are potentially lethal. Now for the pics!"

Pictures of Gakuto, Bunta, and occasionally Kamio would flash, but the majority of the pictures were of Seigaku's very own hyperactive acrobat.

---

"Nya! Oi-shi it's not true! You know that don't you! I…I mean…_cling_ and…You know!" exclaimed a certain red head.

"Umm…Well…" Oishi hesitated.

"Ehhhh!! You think it's true too! So mean!" Eiji stormed out of the room.

"E-Eiji!"

---

"Okay! Now I'm sure you all enjoyed the pictures, but now on to our next stereotype: Glasses wearers! They are usually very versatile and can play doubles or singles…triples too if you catch my drift… They are also very commanding so are often 'semes,' and are said to be quite scary! But, don't worry they can be handled. In fact their greatest weakness is easy to find. A glasses wearer can never resist their ukes! I know this from personal experience…roll the film!"

Pictures of Inui and Tezuka flashed with some of Yanagi and Oshitari mixed in.

---

Inui's glasses glinted dangerously. Unfortunately this was Fuji and with Fuji no one ever won. Inui fumed anyway even if he could never get the revenge he craved. But, hey there was always Aozu(1), right?

Tezuka was much better off. He was already used to Fuji pulling these kinds of stunts. The only thing on Tezuka's mind was what Fuji did to whom to get on the announcements. And, who in they're right minds would let him on…then again no one stood between Fuji and something he wanted.

In a dark, damp closet in Mexico, the old headliner wept along with all of Tezuka's and Ryoma's fanboys…

---

"Alright! Our next stereotype- Lefties! They play singles mostly and many are hailed as 'geniuses' They are very strong too some are known as 'pillars' And, even though they'll never admit it, like red-heads they are very adorable ukes very feisty too, but unlike reds they have quite a lot of stamina…Like my Ryo-chan! Where did I put those pics…?"

A door slammed open and two figures walked in.

"Ah! Kuni-kun, Ryo-chii, What a pleasent surprise since I lost the pictures would you like to be a _live example?"_

Ryoma blushed to the tips of his hair while Tezuka merely pulled Fuji from the room.

The regular announcer came back on, "Well folks, Fuji is having some-"

"**Syusuke how could you!!!**"

"- issues. So, this has been Fuji Syuusuke on-"

"**Syusuke no BAKA**"

"-stereotypes…"

The door once again crashed open. And, the nameless announcer was pushed to the ground.

"Wait, wait, wait! This is Kikumaru Eiji and redheads soooo do no always play doubles! Look at Fudomine's Kamio-kun-" "Ibu" "-he doesn't _normally_ play doub-" He was cut of by being pushed to the ground on top of the no longer conscious announcer.

"But more importantly, I AM **NOT** AN **UKE! **I'm very much seme!" shouted a very molested looking Ryoma.

-Laughs-

"WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME!?!?!"

Fuji walked up behind him, "Well last night you were-"

"SHUT UP!!"

Tezuka sighed and pulled both of them out of the broadcasting room leaving the clean up to…well some one else…

* * *

A/N- Hmmm about as good as I expected it to be... But, I have really low standards, so if you notice anything off with the chapter please tell me. Or just say it sucks or it rocks, but I'm begging you to please REVIEW!! 


	2. Commas

DBCA Yay! Chapter two!! See I knew I would get to it eventually!

Skitz- Yeah! Now all you have to do is update all the other stories that actually have a _plot!_

DBCA- But Fuji said he'd do bad things to me if I didn't get his message out...Anyway disclaimer!

Cras- DBCA ownes a racket and eight balls does that count? I thought not.

Enjoy!

Around the Seigaku campus TVs flickered to life and a smiling sadist appeared.

"Why hello again! It's Fuji Syuusuke and today I'm here to discus a very serious problem: Commas."

---

Ryoma sweat dropped. Fuji couldn't be serious! Who in their right minds would listen to this crap? He looked around the room. Every single person stared attentively at the screen hanging off every word even those two loud-mouths that Ryoma could never remember…

All fear the Fuji…

---

Fuji's smile dropped and he appeared serious. "You see many people don't know the danger commas hold. Many people figure them harmless or- god forbid- _helpful_. I mean sure they make your papers correct and such but is it really worth it? Inside their curved little bodies there is great evil. They are raging beasts! If one ever comes after you run. Run for your life.

If that fails there is only one other choice. You see commas only go after the grammatically correct so all you have to do is butcher whatever language you happen to know. Like this: **I went to the store and I burned it down but my friend got mad at me and he said to put it out but I said screw you I will do what ever I want Go Die.**

See that wasn't that bad was it? But remember the only way to completely avoid comma attacks is early prevention. Now to prevent comma attacks all you have to do is not use commas! A perfect solution to a sinister problem. Isn't it simple!"

Voices shouted from off camera before the announcer pulled Fuji off the set before anymore damage could be done to the poor youths.

---

Ryoma and Tezuka sighed at their lover's antics. It was inane. People wouldn't really believe all that about commas being evil would they?

Needless to say language teachers all over campus cried…or quit.

All fear the Fuji…

* * *

Yesterday- 

All was well until English papers were passed back.

Fuji got a 99. He missed a comma.

Said sadist smirked. _No one gives Fuji Syuusuke a 99. Someone is going to pay…_

* * *

A/N- I agree with Fuji! Commas are spawns of Satan!!!! And if you hadn't noticed this chapter has NO COMMAS which means any grammar mistakes are Fuji's fault!!!!!! -Bang crash smack gunshot- 

Fuji-Don't listen to her. And if you hate commas like me you should go on a reviewing spree!...just not here since DBCA sucks.

You're so mean to me T.T


	3. Smeeeexy!

DBCA-Oh! Posting this from school! Screw you public school system!!

Cras- DBCA owns nothing!

The TVs across the campus came to life. It was that special time of the morning again, Fuji Time.

--

Ryoma sighed. It was that time again. He hated whenever his boyfriend came on. No matter what he talked about chaos always ensued. But, hey he could always hope the craziness would end.

A sadistic tensai filled the screen, "Ohayo minna-san, today is a special day because to day we're talking about smexy!"

Ryoma bashed his head against the desk, there went his hope.

--

Fuji's grin widened, "Smexy means sexy, but waaaaaaay more. For example my Ryo-chan is smeeeeeeeeexy. Where as Kuni-kun is sexy, see difference!

Now if you go to other teams Atobe is rather smexy, not like you Ryo not worry. Then there's Sanada-san…"

A crash was heard and two very pissed looking teens walked in.

"Ah! Atobe-san, Sanada-san what brings you here?"

They glared and each grabbed one of his arms, "We have bone to pick with you Fuji." With that they left.

The regular announcer sighed that was the second time his headliner had been dragged out. Maybe he should think about a different elective…

--

In his classroom Ryoma twirled his cell phone. It's wonderful how two phone calls clears a Fuji out of a room.

A/N- Not much time left...Review!!


	4. Propaganda

DBCA- Okay so...I'm _kinda_ using this for my own selfish purposes...buuuut I updated so forgivness~?

Skitz- No. No one forgives you. AT. ALL.

Cras- But doesn't her complete and utter misuse of benifit you?

DBCA- LET'S STOP TALKING AND GET TO THE STORY! So yeah, I own the _cough_foctet_cough_ that is mentioned.

Enjoy!!!

Propaganda-

The blackness of classroom televisions over Seigaku bleeped into the brilliance of Fuji's face as his daily talk time started. "Ohayo, minna it's time for me to tell you irrefutable facts!"

---

Ryoma sighed when he heard the class cheer. What kind of person accepted _Fuji's_ word as law? Oh that's right, Ryoma was surrounded by idiots. Everyday he expected to wake up in an intelligent world where nobody listened to Fuji…in fact Fuji didn't exist! But then he woke up and Fuji was there: in his backpack, in his locker, in his classroom. Poor Ryoma never got any reprieve from his boyfriend.

"Ryoma, Stop your interpersonal depression! I'm _trying_ to listen to the guru of wisdom and knowledge." shouted random classmate24.

Ryoma slumped in his seat and muttered 'idiots' under his breath.

---

"Now, children, today's lesson will be on propaganda. Propaganda is the tools used to cleverly trick people into doing your bidding. So, say a company really wants you to try their product, they might stuff pamphlets in your door handle or your windshield wipers."

---

Ryoma grinned remembering the pamphlet panic of last week, good times, good times.

---

"Propaganda can also be in the form of an influential person praising something because they were given 74 never before seen pictures of Ryoma in a dress to say JointheFoctet-TastetheRainbow. Well then-"

"WAIT-A-MINUTE!" yelled an irritated Ryoma.

"Oh honey bunny! You came to visit me! How kind of you-"

"Gimme the pictures fool! Those were never meant to be seen by human eyes-"

"Hmm, Ore-sama demands to see these pictures," demanded Atobe.

"When did you get here Keigo?" questioned Sanada.

"WHEN DID ANY OF YOU GET HERE? _HOW_ DID YOU GET HERE?! GAWD, NOT ONLY IS THE STUPID AUTHOR ADVERTISING HER OWN CRAP HERE BUT YOU GUYS AREN'T EVEN FROM THIS SCHOOL WHY DO YOU KEEP APEARING?!?!?!?" shouted the announcer with handfuls of hair in his grasp.

Fuji tilted his head to the side mildly confused. "Who are you and why are you talking in all caps?"

"IT'S CALLED YELLING AND IT'S CAUSE I'M REALLY MAD-"

Ryoma pegged him with a tennis ball to the face and shut him up.

"Saa, until tomorrow, this has been Fuji, Syuusuke on propaganda."

---

The announcer was never seen again. Nobody cried.

* * *

DBCA- So yeah umm the _casually_ mentioned Foctet is a story I'm writing with some friends(we have pictures) It has Cras and Skitz in it and the link is on my profile~

It would make me muchly happy if you could review~!!!


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